★ (1 out of 4)
When the A+ cast of a movie looks like they’re stifling yawns, hope hardly runs high for the product they’re selling. That’s “The Pickup,” the Prime Video streaming paycheck movie starring Eddie Murphy, Pete Davidson and Keke Palmer in an action-comedy scaled far below their talents and clearly contemptuous of the subscribers they’re underserving.
Murphy plays Russell Pierce, an armored truck driver who’s clearly relishing his upcoming retirement (Maybe Eddie is feeling the same way.). Russell and his wife Natalie, played by Eva Longoria, the one cast member who looks happy to be in this rusty playground, plans to open a B&B, the last place you’d figure for a guy with Murphy’s defiant comic chops.
On his 25th anniversary, Russell is assigned by his boss Clark (Andrew Dice Clay, how the mighty mouth has fallen) to haul cash across New Jersey with the help of Travis Stolly (Davidson, sleepwalking), a snarky screwup who gets on Russell’s last nerve, especially when he rattles on about the hot sex he’s having with his new lady, Zoe, played by Keke Palmer, who should fire her agents for saddling her in this lame enterprise (Working with Eddie must have been the lure.).
The same goes for the combo of Murphy and Davidson, two generations of SNL royalty, hobbled by material that prevents them from rising to the occasion. It’s the fact that they don’t even try to that hurts. Travis wants to be a real cop, like the rest of his family, and he’s hoping that a pro like Russell will get him closer to his goal.
Don’t count on it. The action scenes add up to a lost cause. Even a casino robbery and car chases, mixed with buddy bickering, feel too generic and disposable to add up to a straight-to-streaming time killer.
The only suspense in 'The Pickup' is whether it’ll get better. It doesn’t.
What we get is mostly this threesome inside the truck making dead-on-arrival quips that smack of strain and comic desperation. When an attempt is made to deepen character, as with Zoe’s poignant backstory, it’s too little and too late to register.
Maybe Tim Story (“Ride Along,” “The Blackening”) is a director who doesn’t have the nerve to push his pampered stars into another take when an influx of energy is clearly needed. We’re supposed to be jolted when Zoe turns out to be the leader of a gang, including Banner (Jack Kesy) and Miguel (Ismael Cruz Córdova), that kidnaps Russell and Travis and forces them to rob an Atlantic City casino because, well, the stupid script by Matt Mider and Kevin Burrows orders it.
“The Pickup” is only 94 minutes long, but leaves you feeling cheated, like when someone tries to sell a knockoff as the real thing. Correct me if I’m wrong, but Murphy’s recent work is a blur of knockoffs, except for 2019’s dazzling “Dolemite Is My Name.” The only suspense in “The Pickup” is whether it’ll get better. It doesn’t. And whether Russell will get home in time to celebrate his anniversary. Hope he and the missus have a good time. I sure didn’t.