★★ (2 out of 4)
Milly Alcock is punk heaven as Supergirl. It’s a damn shame that her movie is mostly hell on earth and a slog to trudge through. Now as “Supergirl” from the DC Comics Universe, enters theaters and the summer box-office wars, the movie must also suffer comparison to last summer’s thin but sparky redo of “Superman,” from director James Gunn. OK, a lot of that had to do with David Corenswet’s sweet kindness as Supie and his alter-ego, mild-mannered reporter Clark Kent. Corenswet turns up for a scene or three in “Supergirl,” since she’s Kara Zor-El, his cousin from the doomed planet Krypton. If you remember, Kara showed up drunk off her ass at the end of “Superman.”
The two don’t exactly vibe. “He sees the good in everyone,” she says of her super-cuz, barely stifling a yawn. Kara prefers the truth, the darker the better. Alcock, 26, is an Aussie actress who makes you feel Kara’s churning need for action. If only the movie felt that way and could deliver on it. Alcock is funny and fierce in just the right doses. As opposed to goody-goody Supie, she’s a bottle blonde, planet-hopping party girl looking for the next bar she can brawl in. It doesn’t take long.
The best holdover from “Superman” isn’t the man in tights, it’s Krypto the super dog. He pees instantly on newspapers (remember them?) with Superman on the front page. The nerve! The attitude! And don’t get me started on how we have to wait for Kara to get into Supergirl drag. Dynamic “I, Tonya” director Craig Gillespie is stuck with a script by Ana Nogueria that’s so bad Krypto wouldn’t even whiz on it.
This Supergirl never gets off the ground.
One of the reasons is that our adorable feisty terrier has been shot by a poison dart that will kill him in 72 hours, unless Kara can find the antidote and save him. Like, would there even be a movie if she couldn’t? The obstacle is the mad-bad, ponytailed, head-shaved, face-pierced Krem of the Yellow Hills, just Krem to his intimates. With all that artillery, this space pirate and human trafficker should be an unholy terror. And he’s played by the great Belgian actor Matthias Schoenaerts (“Rust and Bone”). But, damn, Krem is such a lame menace his only threat is putting an audience to sleep.
And still no transformation for Kara. Instead, we get another major character. She’s Ruthye Marye Knoll. She’s played by Eve Ridley. And she’s like a video loop vowing vengeance against Krem for killing her father, a master weapons maker. Ruthye does grab one of his swords, about the time we’re long past caring.
That leaves Jason Momoa to salvage what’s left of the movie, which is pretty much scraps by now. The “Aquaman” star plays Lobo, a cigar-chewing, bounty-hunting, extraterrestrial mercenary from the planet Czarnia. He rides around on his space hog causing trouble, especially for Kara, until he winds up kind of liking her.
We do too, and that’s the hassle with “Supergirl.” It doesn’t know how to treat the fem warrior at its core. Even when the sadder but wiser Kara finally gets dressed to wow in Spandex, it’s only for action sequences that would have a galaxy to go to qualify as passable. The idea is to make her relatable by dressing her punk in a trench coat over Blondie t-shirts. But how to relate to a concept that seems so five minutes ago? You don’t. Try as she might, this Supergirl never gets off the ground.