★★½ (2½ out of 4)
You know those pitching machines that toss out baseballs so fast you’re bound to hit a few of them? That’s how hard and fast the laughs come in “Stop! That! Train!”—a drag diva joke machine that keeps speed balling those yucks until you stop clocking the clunkers. Sure, it’s dumb and disposable, but delightful if you just drop expectations and go for the ride.
From “Airplane!” to the recent “Naked Gun,” these hit-and-miss comic throwaways are a summer staple. If memory serves, we’ve never had one with Empress of Drag RuPaul starring as Judy Gagwell, the Pussy Galore of American Presidents. Let the current POTUS top that one. At least this Commander-in-Chief, with her distinctive cackle, makes good on her campaign slogan— “She Fun.” She is indeed.
This fan valentine never laughs at the Queens but always with them. And that’s the difference that counts.
Directed by “Hairspray” crowd-pleaser Adam Shankman from an unembarrassed, R-rated script by Connor Wright and Christina Friel, “Stop! That! Train!” won’t let up until you get the giggles. And how can you not with the movie cast so widely from the RuPaul’s “Drag Race” reality brand extension, along with former judges and assorted friends like Sarah Michelle Gellar—the joke is nobody seems to recognize our Buffy.
Top marks go to Ginger Minj as Tess and Jujubee as DeeDee, train stewardesses (not attendants, please) who have happily shifted from the budget-friendly Stank Rail to the Glamazonian Express where they get shamed by the mean girls serving first class, led by Canada’s “Drag Race” host Brooke Lynn Heights as the bullying Amber, along with Symone and Marcia Marcia Marcia as her lackeys.
The plot, such as it is, pivots around a weather catastrophe called "Stormaganza," which threatens to derail the high-speed train and crash it into the heart of downtown Los Angeles, an event sure to wreak havoc with—say it isn’t so— makeup and hair.
DeeDee runs into her jockboy ex, co-conductor Cal (Brian Jordan Alverez), voted No. 1 in the “Conductors We Want to See the Dick Of” magazine, followed by a smash cut to a passenger reading said publication. For best in show putdowns, the winner is Latrice Royale as Barb, a mouthy dispatcher whose bitchy delivery truly is special. The concept of being fired doesn’t worry Barb: “I can always do some light sex work or sell my hair.”
Still, this in-house effort by the show’s production company World of Wonder—it was developed by studio founders Fenton Bailey and Randy Barbato—truly revels in its done-on-the-cheap allure. Except for the Queens, whom Shankman shoots, lights and costumes to look their very best.
As for the non-drag performers, you can’t beat Rachel Bloom as the control tower chief whose secret power is turning everything to chaos, Chris Parnell as Conductor Davenport who is too funny to get disappeared as soon as he does, and Matt Rogers as the president’s right-hand gay, who tries to laugh off her constant threats to hit the nuke button on Russia.
Filmed in just 19 days and girl does it look it, “Stop! That! Train!” has no production values that you’d notice. What you should notice and applaud is the way this fan valentine never laughs at the Queens but always with them. And that’s the difference that counts.