★★ (2 out of 4)
Have you no self-respect? That’s the kind of reaction I get around these parts when I confess to liking a Jason Statham action movie. Not all of them. Franchises from “The Expendables” to “The Fast and the Furious” get no love from this blog. But when Statham manages to be fierce (“The Beekeeper,” “The Transporter,” “Wrath of Man”) and funny (“Spy”) and sometimes both at the same time (“Snatch” and “Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels”), I’m in the tank for him.
“Mutiny,” a “Die Hard” on a boat movie with another name, is basic to a fault. Bad guys try to kill Statham. He tries to kill them first. The winner is inevitable. But watching this British bruiser in fight mode remains a pleasure that movies do best, like watching a great athlete or a dancer or a highwire acrobat. Films in which he has starred have grossed over $8.5 billion worldwide.
As for action, Jason Statham isn’t raising any bars except to bash in someone’s head.
And he does most of his own stunts. Not bad for a guy pushing 60, who is expert in Chinese martial arts, kickboxing and karate and who also models for French Connection, Tommy Hilfiger and Levi’s. Having long pushed the Academy to award Oscars for stunt work, his wish will finally come true in 2028 at the 100th Academy Awards ceremony. "All of the stunt men, these are the unsung heroes. They're risking their necks. And then you've got poncy actors pretending like they're doing [the stunts].”
That’s Statham for you. Fans will follow him anywhere, even into a cheeseball joint like “Mutiny.” The script feels like a ChatGPT amalgam of all his previous roles. But at least “Mutiny” is not a sequel, prequel or remake. Statham plays Cole Reed, a hard-up London cop and former marine making do as a bodyguard. He likes his Bangkok boss, shipping magnate Tibu Campallo (Ramon Tikaram, terrific). He does not like that his employer and chess buddy is executed before the boss can enjoy retirement. Cole suspects a conspiracy that goes from the cops on up. Even Tibu’s son (Chaneil Kular) is not above suspicion.
When word comes that the killer or killers has stowed away on the cargo ship Artemis, Cole snaps into action with his usual head-snapping verve. Twenty murderous crew members hardly faze Cole, but when he uncovers a deeper plot involving the smuggling of human cargo, mostly children, a personal line is crossed. What a shame that our one-man army is also being framed for the murder of his boss.
A seething Cole gets help from Angie (Annabelle Wallis), the ship’s third mate, who can hold her own in the vengeance department. She has a daughter to get home to as well, a cliché beneath even a Statham programmer. Romance is tough to squeeze in when the two must prowl the bowels of the ship looking for baddies while avoiding the ship’s tattooed captain, Marko, played by Danish actor Roland Møller with an elegant creepiness that sends mixed signals to Cole and Angie as well as the audience.
If you can’t figure out who done it, I’m guessing you don’t get out much. No matter. Director Jean-François Richet, who put Gerard Butler through his paces in “Plane,” has a flair for blunt, bone-cracking violence that matters far more than wrestling the plot into anything resembling coherence. There’s no way a harpoon gun is introduced only to go unused. Cole has a thing for saying “Aw, raspberries” when things don’t go his way.
“I need to finish this,” shouts Cole. He does so with efficiency but damn little inspiration. Those John Wick movies and “Mad Max: Fury Road” have gotten us used to choreographic mayhem that raises the bar. “Mutiny” isn’t raising any bars except to bash in someone’s head. Statham has done more and better. Just not here. Aw, raspberries.