★★½ (2½ out of 4)
Any movie about the afterlife has to be compared to the 1991 Albert Brooks classic, “Defending Your Life,” which means it will always come up short. But “Eternity” hits theaters this week with enough off-center pizazz to at least give it a pass. I’m as surprised as you are. It sounds gooey and gutless on the surface. But Elizabeth Olsen, Miles Teller and Callum Turner have just the right amount of offbeat charm to distract you from what’s wrong with this picture.
First up is Larry (Barry Primus) a geezer pushing hard into his 80s who dies choking on a pretzel. His cancer-fighting wife Joan (the ever-radiant Betty Buckley) dies shortly after. We meet them first driving to a family gathering with their grown kids where they bicker over where to vacation: Miami or the mountains? We’re not Florida people,” Joan insists, so that’s that.
Their indecision gets worse after death. At the waystation between heaven and the void—nothingness is the equivalent of hell—they’re again forced to choose options like: where do you want to spend eternity and who with? Larry and Joan have been married 60 years. Don’t they want something more?
The trouble with this often-beguiling romp is that “Eternity” takes an eternity to wrap up. Too bad no one ever learns how to quit while they’re ahead.
In a nifty plot wrinkle, you get to pick your best look when you die. Larry and Joan choose how they walked the earth just after they married. So now he’s “Top Gun: Maverick” Teller and she’s Red Witch Olsen. But they don’t seem excited by their firm, youthful bodies, though push-ups are suddenly a breeze. Side note: You see a lot of dudes swimming in oversized suits looking like they just hit puberty. What’s up with that? I guess male immaturity is a joy forever.
Joan has the flintier challenge. it seems she was married before to Luke (Brit actor-model Turner), a dreamy pilot who went down in flames in Korea. Luke’s been waiting for Joan ever since, at least he says he has, bartending with only an occasional fling with newly dead hotties. Now Joan must decide: stick with Larry for all-time or see what’s cooking with smoke show Luke.
For help, there are ACs (afterlife coordinators) played by John Early and “Holdovers” Oscar winner Da’Vine Joy Randolph, a dynamo who puts the life in any party. But the choice is up to you. And once you decide, that’s it. If you try to escape through one of those red doors, it’s the void everlasting.
What would you do? In the comic depth charges of “The Lobster,” director Yorgos Lathimoss offered an intriguing prospect: If you can’t find a human to pair off with, you could morph into an animal of your choice. A puppy in a good home sounds sweet to me.
Directed by David Freyne (“Dating Amber”) from a much talked-about Black List script by Pat Cunnane, “Eternity” is counting on you to stay captivated for a couple of hours. I lasted longer than I thought, cheering early on when Joan considered dumping both men for an eternity in Parisland with a girlfriend.
But “Eternity” is after a more conventional happy ending. And it gets one. Don’t worry, I’ll never tell. Olsen, a naturally intuitive and spontaneous actress, adds notes of melancholy to Joan that feel relatable, even in this fantasy bubble. The trouble with this often-beguiling romp is that “Eternity” takes an eternity to wrap up. Larry, Joan and Luke learn a lot about themselves during the early stages of this just under 2 hour fantasy. Too bad no one ever learns how to quit while they’re ahead.